If your mom & dad get mad at you

If your a grown-up help your child read this.

Don't be so hard on them and if they yell at you just tell them nto to.

Send them to there room for six minutes.

Let them relax.



than you,

by Kolin Joseph Walker

Here comes the Kansas BOE!!!

Human Brain cells in mice.

i'm a fourth born.

You Are Likely A Forth Born

At your darkest moments, you feel angry. At work and school, you do best when your analyzing. When you love someone, you tend to be very giving. In friendship, you don't take the initiative in reaching out. Your ideal jobs are: factory jobs, comedy, and dentistry. You will leave your mark on the world with your own personal philosophy.

The Birth Order Predictor

Sorry D... but you had it comin...

Where's My Star?

Just finished up my part in the filming of "Broken Wind". I have to say this was a lot of fun I can hardly wait to see the finished product.


I was a hoping it would have been finished earlier so I could have turned it in to the 007 guys (I would make a kick ass James Bond)

It's Happening

I have to move the bookcase in my house.
Cause my wife said so.

Goodbye testicles...

Hello...

It's time to fix this...

He is gonna hate me for this... but....

We need to find a gal for Matt (The one on the left, the other one is gay... okay not really... but he is on his own now.. hehe)

Matt is a very cool, very intelligent, very handsome man. He is a Veterinarian (a damn good one I might add, great sense of humor and a Christian.

Now why, you may ask, is he available? Well Matt made some career moves that really took him away from the market (He was a Vet in a retirement resort for gods sake). Now he back in Manhattan where all the gals are 10 years his junior and not worthy of him.

So this is my plea to you. Help me help him. This is too good of a man to let spend the rest of his life alone. I suggested online dating and he all but kicked my ass for even suggesting it. If he even knew I posted about this he would kick my ass.

So all applicants will funnell thru me. Being his friend for the past 15 years has given me the insight to know what he is looking for in a gal.

It's our own version of the Bachelor.
Let the Games begin!!!!!!

This cracks me up...

Posted originally on Kyle's blog

My wife is SOOOO funny... not!
So, I am getting ready to go work out in the yard this morning and Jeffy is hanging out with me. I said, "Go tell Mommy she is beautiful." He runs out to the living room and I hear him say: "Daddy says you're beautiful."

He runs back in and I said: "Tell Mommy she is a hottie." He laughed and ran in and said: "Daddy says you're a hottie."

I hear Lisa say: "Tell Daddy this..." and starts to whisper something in his ear. I'm thinking he's gonna come back and say something like: "Mommy says your handsome." Or "Mommy says you're a stud." Something like that.

Jeffy comes running back: "Mommy says you're a brown noser." The joys of being married... Oh well. At least he didn't say: "Mommy says you're not gonna get any."

Maybe Hollywood isn't so bad..

I don't hate Hollywood. But something about it just never suited me much. The closest I have been was driving from San Diego to Pasadena to go to Disneyland a few years back and I just felt that was close enough for me. But maybe I should visit. I mean I have one friend who is an actor there... One friend that writes for Boston Legal there... and over the past 3 years I have met some absolutely wonderful people that either live their now, or retired comfortably there.
This past weekend the Dodge City Trail of Fame had their symposium celebrating "50 years of Gunsmoke". The past 3 years The TOF has invited in several celebrities with ties to the old western and I usually had the honor of being the chaufer for whomever was visiting. The first year it was Dennis Weaver. The Second, Buck Taylor. This year's crew included Janet Arness (wife of James Arness), Ben Costello (Author and comedian), Jim and Toni Byrnes (Jim wrote many episodes of Gunsmoke. Also wrote for 'Walker, Texas Ranger' and wrote the script for Louis L'Amore's The Sacketts), Janette Anderson, (Talent Agent and British accent police) and Morgan Woodward (starred in so many shows I can't even name them all, google him and you shall be impressed). Each one was an absolute blast to hang out with. SO many wonderful stories.

.... So maybe I am afraid that maybe I am on a hot streak and that if I do go to L.A. that no one there will be like my friends and the people I have so far.

I am getting the Pirate graph shirt

The Flying Spaghetti Monster


Gotta love it.....

Hot Air

A woman in a hot air balloon

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am!" The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude." She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican.""I am," replied the man. "How did you guess?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me." The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat." "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well" said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You've made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's MY fault."

Meet Joe Non-smoker

Yeah... its only been 2 and a half days. But I haven't killed anyone yet... so that is a plus... Right?

Jamaica Dogwood Part II

Here is the second installment from the Dogwood series "pre-wedding". This one is entitled "Half Mexican Voodoo" and features some excellent triangle and clave solos not to mention some excellent "whooping" from by mixedican brother .

Listen to it here.

Dream Big

So get this... I had this vivd dream last night. I was shooting a commercial with the incomparable Mr. Nick Holmes. Basically what it boiled down to was Nick and I walking down the street, in slow motion of course, with the Beastie Boys "Whatcha Want" playing in the background. I guess we were tough guy cops or something..... Anyway this slowmotion sashe leads us to a car and we ever so cool and slowly get in... Once the doors shut it goes realtime and the car says "Hello Michael." A wry smile on Nick's part and then the camera pans out and its the Knight Rider car. Then blackout and the "Ebay Motors" graphic comes up. I woke up and about had to fight the laughter as to not wake up T....

In Memory Of...

Brad Heyka Memorial Chipping Green being constructed
Courtesy: Kansas State University
Release: 08/18/2005









Courtesy: Kansas State University
The Brad Heyka Memorial putting green will give the men's and women's a state of the art area to work on their short games.

MANHATTAN, Kan. - With help from the Brad Heyka family, the Kansas State men's and women's golf teams will soon be receiving a state of the art putting/chipping green north of the driving range at Colbert Hills. The green will be refurbished to more accurately resemble the conditions that the team will be seeing at their tournaments throughout the year.



Larry Heyka, father of Brad Heyka who was tragically murdered in Wichita, is proud to have donated to the university and the golf course.



"It's an inspiration in what we could do in Brad's memory," Larry Heyka said. “Brad would have been very proud of it. Itss an asset to Colbert Hills, the K-State men's and women's golf teams and everyone else who plays Colbert Hills."



Head men's golf coach Tim Norris was very gracious in speaking of the donation made by the Heyka family.



"This new green will be a huge benefit to the team and to other golfers at Colbert Hills. We will be spending quite a bit of time practicing on the green," Norris said. "The objective is the use the green to practice our short game, and hopefully it will help us move up the ladder in the rankings.”



In addition to the new practice green, this will be the fifth year of the Brad Heyka Memorial Scholarship Golf Tournament at Colbert Hills. Last year, the tournament brought in $19,000 to help fund three different scholarships: K-State Golf, Business and Finance, and Fraternity.



"It's great to have all of Brad's friends and people who knew him come back into town for the tournament," Larry Heyka said. "It's also great to have the turn out we've had in recent years."



Last year, the there were 192 players in the tournament, with the Heyka family and the university expecting another full house this year.



The Heyka Memorial Scholarship Golf Tournament is scheduled for Friday, Oct. 7, with a 10 a.m. tee time. The cost is $150 per player, or $600 per team. Questions regarding the tournament should be directed to Associate Athletics Director Kurt McGuffin at (785) 532-7952 or by e-mail at kmcguff1@k-state.edu.

BTK

So has anyone been following the news on this whacko?? It's no wonder that my parents went crazy when I would, as a young child in Wichita, stop every stranger on the street and invite them in to play with me....

Our elected Idiots

The ongoing saga of the "Why Not Dodge" campaign. Its crap like this that makes me want to run for commissioner.


Web-posted Aug. 11, 02:23: PM
Agreement allows tourist organizations to seek sales tax dollars
By Eric Swanson
Dodge City Daily Globe

Local tourist attractions can apply each year for a portion of the "Why Not Dodge" sales tax revenues under a new agreement between Dodge City and Ford County.
The Dodge City and Ford County commissions voted 6-2 Wednesday to approve the agreement, which sets up a mechanism for tourist attractions to request sales tax dollars. Dodge City Commissioners Mike Nelson and Jim Sherer were the only officials to vote against the agreement.

Sherer said after the meeting that he opposed the agreement because he thought the commissions should complete the projects that were originally supposed to be funded by the sales tax - including the proposed special events center - before considering other projects.

Under the agreement, the city and county will put up to 15 percent of their sales tax dollars each year into a special account. The money in that account will be used to fund requests from local organizations that attract visitors and promote the area's Western heritage.

The actual amount allocated to the account will vary from year to year, depending on sales tax revenues and other projects.

All requests will be submitted to the Community Facilities Advisory Board - a new version of the Family Facilities Advisory Board - for review. The board will assign funding priorities to each request, then submit that list to the city and county commissions for final approval.

Once the CFAB submits its list, the commissions would have 15 days to decide by a majority vote whether to approve or deny the requests.

But the organizational funding account was not the only item on the commissioners' agenda. They also approved, on a 6-2 vote, a proposal to change the board's name and its membership.

The only commissioners to vote against that proposal, which amends the interlocal agreement that set up the FFAB, were Nelson and Ford County Commissioner John Swayze.

Swayze said changing the board would not solve the problem he saw - the commissions' apparent unwillingness to accept the board's recommendations.

"They can do all the work, and if someone in this room doesn't approve of what they say, we don't listen to them," he said. "We can put commissioners, we can put all kinds of different people on this board. But until we start following what the interlocal agreement says and let the FFAB board do their job, we're just wasting our time."

But Ford County Commission Chairman Kim Goodnight said he thought changing the board's makeup would bolster the commissioners' role in making decisions related to sales tax expenditures.

"I do believe this is a better blueprint," he said.

The newly organized board will consist of one city commissioner, one county commissioner, four at-large members and the chairperson of the Dodge City/Ford County Development Corp. The at-large members will be appointed by a majority vote of both commissions.

Nelson said he thought putting elected officials on the board was a mistake.

"I think it's pretty clear that if you look at it, we got to this point by not being able to move forward due to political concerns," he said.

The commissions also approved - this time on a 7-1 vote - a separate proposal to expand the interlocal agreement's definition of what constitutes a "related public project."

Nelson cast the only dissenting vote.

The original interlocal agreement said sales tax proceeds could be used to fund projects if they were related to the original "Why Not Dodge" projects - Dodge City Raceway Park, the Legends Park softball complex, sports fields at the St. Mary's complex, improvements to the Civic Center and the special events center. But the agreement did not include a specific definition of what constituted a related project.

The new proposal includes six definitions of related public projects:

% Improvements or renovations to any of the existing "Why Not Dodge" facilities, which will include the special events center since that was one of the projects listed in the interlocal agreement.

% Building new entertainment- or recreation-related projects.

% Improving or renovating existing tourist attractions.

% Giving financial aid to local tourist attractions that promote the area's Western heritage.

% Building infrastructure projects to improve access to the existing facilities.

% Building a new county jail, subject to voters' approval.

Adding the jail to the list does not commit the commissions to building a new jail with sales tax money, but it does give them that option if they decide to pursue it.

Dodge City Mayor Terry Lee said he supported the idea of adding a county jail to the list of related projects.

"This is an 'us' thing, and we need to pull together on this," he said.

Dodge City Commissioner Ed Kimminau said he would agree to put the jail on the list, but only if it were subject to a public vote.

But Nelson objected to the idea of expanding the definition of related projects to include a new jail.

"No one's going to sit here and say we don't need a jail," he said. "No one's going to say that. But to call a jail in any way, shape or form an entertainment venue designed to make Dodge City the entertainment capital of western Kansas, and a family facility, is just nuts."

Reach Eric Swanson at (620) 408-9917 or e-mail him at eric.swanson@dodgeglobe.com

Dogwood is back!

SO as to not disappoint... the first (I think ever) internet installment of dogwood is here. This one is entitled ..... well it started out as "Uncle Dad" but ended up as "Eating Dogfood". Anyway I didn't want anyone to have to wait 5 years to hear this so here it is.... enjoy bitches.....

Uncle Dogfood

The times they are a changin..

I just updated my blog with my PSP. Gotta love technology!!!

Senor!

Make Your Mariachi song here!

And the Winner is.....

Dogwood..... Dogdid..... Dogwillagain.....

The next boy band hit single from Jamaica Dogwood..

Now let the lyrics begin...

Cabaret Memories

I was doing a little house cleaning and stumbled onto some of our old Cabarete recordings from the homestead. I thought maybe some of you would like to here some of these during your busy day so here are some samples.

Don's Place IV
August 11th, 2001
recorded live in the Homestead Theater, Dodge City KS

1. Too Darn Hot (Featuring Kyle Hager and Jason Hart on what I believe is termed the 'mouth trumpet')

2. Don's Intro

3. Summer in the City (Featuring Jason Hart and Kyle Hager)



I will post more later, as I am only allowed so much storage. Also you need windows media player to listen.

Enjoy!

Jamaica Dogwood Lives!!!

Okay, so its a given there will be a dogwood session in 3 weeks. But I think we should do at least one song semi-professionally. So in the next 24 hours we need to come up with some song titles.

Here is my throw in-

I use to Rock

everyone else chip in, and once we have a song title, then its time to start on the lyrics!!!

Have fun!!

The Resurgance of the BLOG

I find it quite refreshing that the blog is making a comeback with my friends... Old blogs have been brought back to life, and new friends have found that blogging isn't all that egotistical after all.

Now if we can get J-Rod to start his own, then the party will indeed start.

Pinkie is a Blogger

Hey - Pinkie has his own blog, check it out ....






HERE

2005 USBL Champions!!!!

Dodge City Legend - 97
Kansas Cagerz - 84


Congrats to the team and to Jermaine Boyett - Tourney MVP!!!!
What a great organization to be a part of and lets repeat next year!!

It has begun

My pal Kyle has his own caption conest going... give it a whirl.


http://samlane.blogspot.com

These are the moments you live for....

So T and I decided that we needed to get away with the boys before we became so caught up with wedding things that the summer would be long gone. So yesterday we packed up and headed to Kansas City to stay with Sam and Hill. Today we took the boys to Oceans of Fun. When we walked up to the front gate both their little jaws dropped. The spent the next 6 and a half hours having the time of their little lives. It was so much fun to watch!!!!!! They were so daring as nothing was toio scary for them to tackle. Kolin looked at me ttoday and said "Dad, this is the best day of my life!"


Awesome.....

Well looky looky

it looks as though my bud J-Rod has been busy with other caption contests as well.

http://www.deepelm.com/contest/caption_14.html

Oh the Memories

The Rant from Varnished Memories

So I searched through the wood chips of my mind
and I think about the sandpaper and it's kind and I wanna go back to those days now.
And I set my coffee cup on the end table that never quite ended up like it was supposed to,
just like our love life.
And I think about the time when we went to the home factory and we got us some bulk lumber. And we went to your motel room and you said that this was coming soon but I thought that we were just gonna get some slumber.
But in the next seventeen hours we had so much fun and we forgot to shower,
and we both lost our jobs 'cause we smelt so bad.
And my boss kicked us in the head and he made us cry and he made us dead,
but due to some ancient incantations that was in the bulk lumber we came back to life.
So here we are walkin' round as a vampire as you're dressed up as a clown
and I really wanna know where we stand now.
And the tears swell up in my eyes and I say my-my and I cry and cry
and I wanna take you into my arms but I know that won't happen.
So I stand and I scream real loud and I know that now, but I feel so proud
that I once was part of your life. Part of your life, I said part of your life and I (* cough * hack *)

44 and Counting

Dodge City Legend -109
Kansas Cagerz - 105

The Streak Continues.......

Power can suck it.

Let me tell you something about being the voice of the Dodge City Legend. It definitely has its perks. But then again, with any kind of job, it can have its downsides. Now don't get me wrong, I love it. It amazes me when I say "Get on your feet Legend Fans!" 1400 people get on their feet. "Make some noise!!!!" Noise ensues. That can be an amazing feeling. I am the conductor for this huge chorus. Now the problem that lies within is this. My dear Legend have won 43 consecutive home games. That number is just mind boggling no matter what the sport is. I DO NOT WANT TO BE THE GUY THAT LOSES!!!!!!!!!! My fragile ego couldn't handle it. Cause I know in some sort of way it will be my fault. Maybe I didn't get the crowd rowdy enough or something. I can't live with that.... So if we win out at home this season I may have to retire........... While I am on top ...
hehe

Histamines can suck it....

I hate allergies... All the sneezing, runny noses, drainage... I am moving to Death Valley...

What a weekend!

Okay... I have to say I haven't experienced a weekend like this in quite some time.
Tonya and I decided to take the wall paper off of Seth's old room and see if we could paint it. This was a mistake. 2 days later and we are still working on it. Sprinkle in trying to hang Satan's ceiling fan and well, it was a recipe for disaster. Not only that but we had to cut things short last night cause the Legend were playing in town.

Joe's new favorite player - Brad Oleson - rookie from North Pole Alaska, This kid can flat out shoot and never gives up... A little slow on the defensive side, but I think that his D is the only thing keeping him from making a roster in the NBA.

Okay so its Sunday and we are still painting the bedroom. I can't wait for it to be done... but then I think... man the rest of these walls need painted also...... crap there goes the summer....

Your Starting Five..

Sorry its taken me so long to post... Things are hectic but I wanted to drop a line and say hello to everyone. The is wedding is moving along. Announcements should go out next week. (Just to make sure, if you read this, email me your address just to make sure I have it right!)

Not much has changed. Except I am now the official P.A. voice of the Dodge City Legend. Yeah I know.. kinda cool. I gotta thank Chris for giving me a shot at this... I was a little reluctant to try at first, but 5 games have passed and I haven't been boo-ed out of the Civic Center so I must not be doing too bad.

Well, thats all I have for now.. Don't forget about July 30th and I hope to see you all soon!!!!

Going Strong

We are officially over 90 songs and 6 plus hours of music now.. I really appreciate everyone's help and when the free i-tunes hooplah is all done I will have to post the ecclectic song mix we have so far. And a special thanks to Pinkie and Cool Warren for handing over the tunes by the handfuls!!!!!

Pinkie In the Leedy!!!!

Thanks to all for helping out in our little I-tunes gathering.
And just so you know I am pretty sure that Mr. Pink is winning.

Doc I haven't slept in days....Too much Pepsi???....Only about 20 a day!!


Thanks to Pink and everyone who has helped us surpass 3 1/2 hours of music so far!!!
KEEP EM COMING!!!!!!

I Tune update

Thanks to all for helping us with our little I-tune project. So far we have about 30 songs and they keep "pouring" in. So keep drinking Pepsi!!!!

You Can Help!!

As most of you know I am getting married in July. Tonya and I are busy putting together the plans to make it a wonderful and exciting weekend but we would love some help.


We are getting music together for a little dance after the wedding and thought it would be wonderful if every once in a while someone would want to (in the kindness of their heart of course) donate some free itunes songs from pepsi bottles. Its not asking much and if you want to even request a good song for our wedding with your donation I will see that it happens.

Just send me an email with the code and I will take care of it.
jwalker10373@sbcglobal.net

or you can send me a text message at 620-338-4840
Thanks for all your help and we hope to see you all July 30th.

Sometimes I am at a loss...

There has to be a label for who I am. I haven't come across it. Pollitcally I am in some sort limbo where labels escape. I find it hard to rationalize some of the things that come out of the mouths of the liberals. Then I find it asinine how much time and effort the conservatives put into raining on the gay marriage parade. Actually its not just the conservs that have issues, they just seem to be the most vocal about it. I truthfully don't see the point. Mr. President constantly harps on "the sacred sacrament of marriage" and he does have a point. The definition of "marriage" is

a.
The legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife.

-but there are also other definitions.

b. A close union: "the most successful marriage of beauty and blood in mainstream comics" (Lloyd Rose).

c.Games The combination of the king and queen of the same suit, as in pinochle.

I just think there are more important things to be concerned with.

And yet another reason I watch Fox News.

I ganked this off of the NY Post Website.

January 31, 2005 -- EVEN in death, Rodney Dangerfield gets no respect. The late comedy legend's longtime publicist, Kevin Sasaki, got a call from a booker at CNN last week asking him if "Rodney would be available to share his comments on the passing and legacy of Johnny Carson." Sasaki replied that unless CNN had a new way of linking up to the afterlife via satellite, that would be impossible. Dangerfield, of course, passed away last October. Ironically, his new DVD set, "Rodney Dangerfield — The Ultimate No Respect Collection," was posthumously released last month, and includes clips culled from his more than 70 appearances on "The Tonight Show."

-man that is just sad.

sorry..

i know. i know.. it's been awhile since i posted last. and i know there are no capital letters in my text. my keyboard is acting up. so deal. things are well, plans are slowly coming along for the wedding, and life is good. so keep checking back. i promise to have more posts with upper case letters real soon.

Rocky Mountain Way

Well we are blessed. A wonderful person gave us lift tickets as an engagement gift and now I am typing to you from Winter Park Colorado. It is absolutely beautful here and hopefully tomorrow I will throw some pictures on here so you can see for yourself.