Okay I had to talk about this today.
Everyday at 10:00 am I get a text message that is called "Weird News". It usually involves somebody botching an armed burglary or someone eating their weight in hot dogs. But today's message involved Britney Spears and her doggie. It seems that the pop sensation took her new pet poodle out to a lavish restaurant and bought fluffie a $180.00 steak dinner.
Ok Britney? No, its okay. Come a little closer. That's it. Gosh you smell nice. Listen, umm okay. You are an idiot. Listen to the facts. Not only did you buy a steak dinner for a dog; You paid 180.00 dollars for it. The only way I would ever pay 180.00 for a steak dinner would be if it was cooked to perfection and served with vegetables, a baked potato and served on $160.00.
But oh no. We didn't stop there did we Britney? We bought it for a 3 ounce mouse of a dog. I am sure that dog enjoyed it so much it proceeded to lick its private parts and washed it all down with a glass of the restaurants best toilet water.
You wouldn't believe me Britney. But I have a dog too. And not once has the insane idea ever crept into my mind to buy "Lucky" a steak dinner. I also find it hard to believe that your dog has becomed accustomed to such a lavish lifestyle that it would turn its head away from a little kibbles and bits. My dog roots around in the cat's litter box like its a box of cracker jacks so I don't think a steak would bring him to another echelon of sophistication.
Point is this. Stardom has made you stupid. From chartered jets traveling cross country for your favorite mocha latte to happy hour for sparky at club sheik, It amazes me you remember how to inhale and blink.
